Friday, January 02, 2009

Motto for 2009 "no more crybabies!"

Love him, hate him, or dimiss him, Kunstler is one-of-a-kind, always able to position himself where he wants to be, judging the stupidity of our culture mercilessly.

http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/clusterfuck_nation/2008/12/forecast-for-2009.html

I don't have a clear view for 2009, and accept whatever President Obama wants or does, whatever Congress wants or does, whatever the American people want or do, we're in a pickle which may or may not lead us, fast or slow into a very dark place not seen by Americans for a long time, and perhaps ever, if things really fall as far as they seem to be able to fall.

So far, I've played my hand about as well as I could, at least mixing an interesting life without great debt besides a mortgage, and using surplus income, and with an ARM-mortgage now adjusting mildly, perhaps future less mildly, up $10k in saved interest over 5 years, and a refinancing option openning up, I feel very fortunate, even if I fail on my most optimistic plan to pay off my mortgage in 3 years. Having a 30-year fixed-rate would be the final puzzle piece, one step short of being debt-free, but means I can choose what's my best investment - reducing debt, investing to reduce expenses, or pure altuistic philantropy surrounded by a world of need greater than my own. Well, still carried by the assuming I can keep a job with something like my income now. No guarantees there I know, but I could live on 1/4 my income if I had to, something most people can't imagine. I can live without a car, as I have now for 3 years. I can grow a bit of my own food, and know how to conserve whatever resources are around me.

It's really not real to me, to imagine the possibility everything we know might be lost. My pessimism is vast, but historical success makes me think somehow senseless things can go on forever.

I like Kunster's 2009 motto "No more crybabies". I don't like to judge people, and I don't like to think about how many people are much more adversely affected by circumstances than me. But I don't think Kunstler is being critical of weakness, just reflecting that it isn't enough any more. There's no one to save us individually or collectively but ourselves. All the support systems that allow mistake after mistake to repeat indefinitely may soon evaporate and we'll be left with whatever we're left with, which is primarily our own sense of confidence to act in an uncertain world, to act wisely to protect our own needs, and to widen that protections as we each are capable, so our communities can be collectively stronger to handle the messiness of collapse.

It's funny my only connective spirit I have with the republicans is the idea of self-suffiency and a recognition of the limits of "programs" and "policy" to protect individuals. Responsibility and honest assessment of one's own resources and needs and what it costs to use those resources wisely, that's what will get us through what's coming. It's all nice to have "universal rights", but they always must break down without "universal responsibility".

I hate all the messiness of individual freedom, and self-destructive impulses within all of us. I see them most within myself, apathy to treat my time as something important. I'm sure it's a balancing point. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And all play and no work makes Jack a child and a fool. In between, real people make compromises, facing opportunity with ambition and dreams, and when times are good they overreach, and suffer for it.

I keep my life small, but I overreach also. I see a life that will end someday. I don't even see a purpose for my life, except exploring a few interesting ideas, and having enough to share with others close to me. Even so, I live in an expansive universe of possibilities, and lament the day I can not play as much. I'm spoiled as they can get, and I know there's a grindstone I could follow a little closer, just in case I fall short of what's "my fair share", and what I'll need in the future.

Ultimately my biggest failing might be I don't want the responsibility of a failing society on my shoulders. I wish happily for a future I could believe in, but just a wish, I don't easily accept my responsibility to help create that future. Maybe it's not really my place to lead. I don't have a vision for the future. I think we're going to fall, and maybe there's really nothing to be done, but stay prepared, keep my needs small, and help clean up my corner of the world as things fall. I don't know what more I can do. I know I could try harder than I do.

Happy 2009, truly I have no wish for the world but to see itself rightly, neither blinded by false light or false darkness, but somewhere between...

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